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Marvin
October 29th, 2005, 06:49 PM
Has anybody had one of these? I think I just did this weekend. I would like to hear about yours and what it did for you. Probably a better soapbox topic( if it were alive) but the mutants tell you like it is. I am still processing mine but will share a little more soon.

thanks

marvin

distorted
October 29th, 2005, 07:29 PM
:confused: does being born count as a "life changeing event"?

Bellows1
October 29th, 2005, 07:34 PM
I've had 3 of them. One is 10 the other will be 9 next week. The third is my darling wife, Who made it all possible. One got me to stop drinking, the other two might get to start again. ;)

Marvin, I'm sure this isn't what you had in mind, but those are mine.

Share with us.

Huntin4Elk
October 29th, 2005, 07:38 PM
Yes I have..........some were good at the time...........some were bad at the time and one was down right terrifying.


Just keep in mind that there is a reason for it. At least you realize that it is a life changing event............some people never stop long enough to realize it has happened to them and they never do learn the lesson from it.

I hope yours was a good one.

jerrytee
October 29th, 2005, 08:09 PM
My post would have been the same as H4es'

Marvin
October 29th, 2005, 08:22 PM
buried a 20 year old family member today. not expected. good kid. just on the wrong path. going to be a first time dad myself soon. scared the you know what out of me today. Not sure if I like the person I am today after the burial. Not any bad choices but really looking at life and the "big picture". This is one of those .."oh that only happens to other peoples families" incidents.

bowhunter0916
October 29th, 2005, 08:40 PM
Buddy, I have made every mistake I could think of growing up. I paid for some of them and others I got away with. I have had many of my childhood friends lose their lives over drugs, gangs, drunk driving.
I hope that you and your family can find peace and goodness in his life while he was with you.
God bless.

Bellows1
October 29th, 2005, 08:41 PM
Marvin, that aint easy. I've been there myself. Sorry for your loss.



You have to go forward from today, not dwell on the past. You cannot change anything you have done, only try to do better. Seek forgiveness, mend fences and be a better person. Your children will need a role model, be a good one.

Best of luck,

Bill

Marvin
October 29th, 2005, 08:43 PM
Buddy, I have made every mistake I could think of growing up. I paid for some of them and others I got away with. I have had many of my childhood friends lose their lives over drugs, gangs, drunk driving.
I hope that you and your family can find peace and goodness in his life while he was with you.
God bless.
Thanks. I appreciate it. We still don;t have answers to why or what happened. thats the hard part.

rock monkey
October 29th, 2005, 08:43 PM
ive had a couple.......

lost my little brother on 01/01/01 to sepsis and pnuemonia. he was a surgical paraplegic from T5 down. he developed spinal cord cancer in his lower spine. best chance of survival for a TOTALLY fatal cancer was to remove a portion of his spinal cord. a partial lamenectomy for you doctor types. he had glhianeuroblastoma (sp)

one that i took directly was caused by a 'dissection of a vertebral artery' a torn artery wall in the neck. body did what it was supposed to do when an artery is damaged........it clotted to heal. woke up one morning, the morning we were going to inter my deceased grandmother, nauseous and had difficulty walking, like my leg was asleep. took a shower and while in the shower, suffered a stroke. kinda euphoric actually. i had enuff presence of mind to know something wasnt right and sat down before i was forced to experience gravity. the clot fractured. i went into the hospital with NO medium and fine motor skills on my whole left side. i asked if surgery was an option, and was told its a 1 in 8 chance of survival. a one in 3 chance for paralysis. odds i didnt and wont accept.

leg, foot, hand, arm, droopy left eye, numb tongue, flared left nostril....basically, someone hit the power switch for my whole left side. once they figured out what happened, i had multiple symptoms, i was looking at 6 months of in-patient therapy as of monday afternoon (it hit me at 8am-ish 25 feb 03). i was back to walking wed afternoon, and left saturday morning under my own power with a perscription of 45 days of out-patient therapy......i didnt take it. just went to the gym and wasnt giving up.

the worst part of the whole deal was being in the stroke ward.....nothing but old people. smells like a nursing home....ick

did it make me slow down and think about things?, yeah, it did. i look at it as more of a 'challenge' to my will rather than a life changing event. i aint givin up, so whoever gets a kick knockin me down can expect a fight...........and lose. cant bruise a bowling pin.

if you ever meet me, you'll never know i had a stroke unless i tell you. even then, you wont believe it.

Tronjo
October 29th, 2005, 09:50 PM
I would say that I have had 3 life changing events.
The first two were the births of my children.
The biggest was walking into my house 15 days ago to discover my wife packed up and left with the kids.

RecordKeeper
October 29th, 2005, 10:12 PM
Marvin....let me start with saying I am so sorry for your loss. What a difficult time this must be for you.

I don't talk about this very much on AT, but I had a significant life changing event on February 26, 1994. On that day, my son Daniel (named after Dan Hart, who many on AT know) died during his birth. The cause was a "plecenta(sp?) abruption." Esentially, his ability to receive blood from mom stopped, and he died while being born.

At first, I did not know how I could go on. The pain was unbearable. But when I held his lifeless body, an incredible peace came over me. I really don't know quite how to describe it, but suffice it to say that I knew that he was safe, and would be a guardian angel watching over my other children.

I also knew that my life would change forever. I could not be who I was anymore, so I had to make some choices. I could be a bitter person, or a better person....but not really the same person. I chose to dedicate my life to being a better, more caring and loving person....in memory of my Daniel. I believe I am a better father, husband and person for it.

I know this is sappy, and I am sorry. I just thought this might in some way ease the pain you must feel right now.

Chris

Clickerati
October 29th, 2005, 11:15 PM
Dying is part of living. We all have a finite time on this earth. Some live to 100, some die in childbirth. Life is a lottery and we're all gambling.

Marvin
October 30th, 2005, 09:00 AM
Marvin....let me start with saying I am so sorry for your loss. What a difficult time this must be for you.

I don't talk about this very much on AT, but I had a significant life changing event on February 26, 1994. On that day, my son Daniel (named after Dan Hart, who many on AT know) died during his birth. The cause was a "plecenta(sp?) abruption." Esentially, his ability to receive blood from mom stopped, and he died while being born.

At first, I did not know how I could go on. The pain was unbearable. But when I held his lifeless body, an incredible peace came over me. I really don't know quite how to describe it, but suffice it to say that I knew that he was safe, and would be a guardian angel watching over my other children.

I also knew that my life would change forever. I could not be who I was anymore, so I had to make some choices. I could be a bitter person, or a better person....but not really the same person. I chose to dedicate my life to being a better, more caring and loving person....in memory of my Daniel. I believe I am a better father, husband and person for it.

I know this is sappy, and I am sorry. I just thought this might in some way ease the pain you must feel right now.

Chris
chris, I know that had to be hard to say but I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. That is the same type of feeling I had yesterday. Kinda just said "no more of this nonsense". Time to clean house so to say. Be a better person than I am right now.

clayking
October 30th, 2005, 03:15 PM
Yes, and 30+ years later it still haunts me and effects how I react with others. I cannot express the details of the situation, (combat zone) but to this day, I have little faith or respect for those in authority, as the decisions made by them, are largely to their self-interests and not mine. Learning this lesson is the only reason I'm alive today.

Although I've never encountered such conditions since that event, I've nevertheless seen it played out so many times in non-life threatening circumstances................. .........ck

A4BEST
October 30th, 2005, 06:28 PM
2 come to mind. 1st was a heart attack at 42 where I was diagnosed with apnia. CPAP machine really changed my life.
2nd while recovering from #1 decided to get back into archery after 25 years and go hunting with my younger brother. Havent looked back since (till now)

Jeff

MNmike
October 30th, 2005, 09:59 PM
The most life changing, meaning how I live my life and how I feel about myself, type event was divorce. And I've had two.

It really changed how I think about life and myself, and what I want out of life and the person I choose to be with.

Never in my life have I thought of getting married for anything other than "for life". But things happen that you are not in control of. Maybe these two X's were bad decissions on my part, maybe not. But I know that alot of good resulted from the bad. It made me a better and stronger person for myself and others.

Now, in my 3rd and final marrige. The love of my life is not only alot like me, but part of me. Unlike before, I really feel almost a spirital bond between myself and my partner.

Life, at times, may seem to be at a end, but in reality, after a bad thing, good things usually follow.

Oxford
October 30th, 2005, 11:26 PM
When my first dog died. We were like brothers.

When I started first grade.

When I started surfing.

When my highschool girlfriend left me.

When I moved to California.

When my father died.

When I had children.

bowhunter0916
October 31st, 2005, 12:10 AM
Yes, and 30+ years later it still haunts me and effects how I react with others. I cannot express the details of the situation, (combat zone) but to this day, I have little faith or respect for those in authority, as the decisions made by them, are largely to their self-interests and not mine. Learning this lesson is the only reason I'm alive today.

Although I've never encountered such conditions since that event, I've nevertheless seen it played out so many times in non-life threatening circumstances................. .........ck

Thank you for your service and everything that you endured during your service. Most of us can never imagine what you are referring too. I am a vet myself and can only imagine what you went through. Peace be with you.

Marvin
October 31st, 2005, 08:23 AM
ive had a couple.......

lost my little brother on 01/01/01 to sepsis and pnuemonia. he was a surgical paraplegic from T5 down. he developed spinal cord cancer in his lower spine. best chance of survival for a TOTALLY fatal cancer was to remove a portion of his spinal cord. a partial lamenectomy for you doctor types. he had glhianeuroblastoma (sp)

one that i took directly was caused by a 'dissection of a vertebral artery' a torn artery wall in the neck. body did what it was supposed to do when an artery is damaged........it clotted to heal. woke up one morning, the morning we were going to inter my deceased grandmother, nauseous and had difficulty walking, like my leg was asleep. took a shower and while in the shower, suffered a stroke. kinda euphoric actually. i had enuff presence of mind to know something wasnt right and sat down before i was forced to experience gravity. the clot fractured. i went into the hospital with NO medium and fine motor skills on my whole left side. i asked if surgery was an option, and was told its a 1 in 8 chance of survival. a one in 3 chance for paralysis. odds i didnt and wont accept.

leg, foot, hand, arm, droopy left eye, numb tongue, flared left nostril....basically, someone hit the power switch for my whole left side. once they figured out what happened, i had multiple symptoms, i was looking at 6 months of in-patient therapy as of monday afternoon (it hit me at 8am-ish 25 feb 03). i was back to walking wed afternoon, and left saturday morning under my own power with a perscription of 45 days of out-patient therapy......i didnt take it. just went to the gym and wasnt giving up.

the worst part of the whole deal was being in the stroke ward.....nothing but old people. smells like a nursing home....ick

did it make me slow down and think about things?, yeah, it did. i look at it as more of a 'challenge' to my will rather than a life changing event. i aint givin up, so whoever gets a kick knockin me down can expect a fight...........and lose. cant bruise a bowling pin.

if you ever meet me, you'll never know i had a stroke unless i tell you. even then, you wont believe it.


also wanted to thank Rock monkey. Been in those same places you have been but for loved ones not myself. I know the feeling and those "smells". Thanks for sharing and great story. I appreciate it. Hopefully I will get to meet you someday. I would enjoy that.

B-DUB
November 2nd, 2005, 05:06 PM
When my son was born. They told us he had a rare disorder and he probably wouldn't leave the Hospital.

He is 2 1/2 now...

Funny how the worst day of your life and the best day of your life can both be on the same day.

Ghostbuck
November 6th, 2005, 02:23 AM
I have had several. That is part of what makes us who we are. The human body, mind and soul is amazing. It can withstand so many things. My youngest son who jsut turned three was born with multiple heart defects. We spent five weeks in the hospital. he had two surgeries. The second one was performed the night he was recovering from his first surgery. He was dying, his kidneys had shut down completely. The doctors didn't think he was goign to make it. The doctor came in after the surgery about 5 in the morning. ( Carter was his first surgery the day before at 7am and he hadn't been to bed yet) and he told us when they moved Carter from his bed to the operating table his kidneys started to fuunction again. What a blessing this little boy has been. He is so full of life and joy. We came home on 12 medications. Within three months he was off of every medicine. When i tell the whole story with all of the details it is very touching. My life was turned totally upside down. It made me alot stronger, emotionally and spiritually........

RecordKeeper
November 6th, 2005, 02:35 AM
I have had several. That is part of what makes us who we are. The human body, mind and soul is amazing. It can withstand so many things. My youngest son who jsut turned three was born with multiple heart defects. We spent five weeks in the hospital. he had two surgeries. The second one was performed the night he was recovering from his first surgery. He was dying, his kidneys had shut down completely. The doctors didn't think he was goign to make it. The doctor came in after the surgery about 5 in the morning. ( Carter was his first surgery the day before at 7am and he hadn't been to bed yet) and he told us when they moved Carter from his bed to the operating table his kidneys started to fuunction again. What a blessing this little boy has been. He is so full of life and joy. We came home on 12 medications. Within three months he was off of every medicine. When i tell the whole story with all of the details it is very touching. My life was turned totally upside down. It made me alot stronger, emotionally and spiritually........

:thumbs_up

Seth the XSlayr
November 6th, 2005, 03:59 AM
I have come to find that life is a series of tragedies...

I am sorry for your loss.

IGluIt4U
November 6th, 2005, 09:46 PM
When I moved to California.

Our hearts go out to you Ox..... :wink:

CA_Rcher12
November 6th, 2005, 10:19 PM
I've done lots of the stupid things kids do today...Many of them made me feel like throwing up when I realized my errors. I DID get to walk away from most of these "bad" things, but I can't-and will not-forget them, especially the events that didn't go so well.

fishingal
November 6th, 2005, 10:20 PM
too many to list them all.......

but here are a couple......

at 18 my best friend was killed by a drunk driver.....blasted her side of the car, killed her instantly and her passenger walked away with scratches! Tells you there is always a plan in motion by the "Man upstairs"

married Rx in 2000........... :rolleyes: :cool: :mg: :wink: :smile:

July 2001....miscarried for the one and only pregnancy

tried for 6 years to get pregnant again...........

1996.....our 1st born, our son, was delivered at KCI via airplane from Seoul, So. Korea...yes we adopted!!!!!! :teeth:

1999....our 2nd born, our daughter, was delivered exactly the same!!

The last two things mentions......AWESOME doesn't begin to cover those emotions!!! again shows the "Man Upstairs" has His own plan! We couldn't have two kids more like Rx and I had I birthed them myself! :p

2005....trying to talk Rx into a 3rd baby!!! :rolleyes: :confused: :high5: :love: :whoo:

imanut2
November 7th, 2005, 01:17 AM
First, Marvin, my sincere condolences...it's never too late to make changes in your life...trust me, I know...I've been there....not proud of some my past, but I've never denied it either... and I've certainly learned from it...remember the good...the rest is history...use it only as needed...praying for ya...

Without a doubt...meeting and marrying my wife....before that, I didn't figure I'd make it past 30....life was fun...but also wild...including drinking and drugs and let's just say trouble was always right around the corner...

....until I met my wife...she never drank, smoked, used drugs, etc and had a strong Christain faith...and lucky for me she was able to read between the lines and could see another side of me and never gave up on me....even when I didn't deserve her...she helped me change to the point I'm at now.....I no longer smoke, rarely drink (maybe a beer once in a while when we go out to dinner at a micro-brewery), drugs are but a distant memory...and my faith in God has been renewed...and I'm still having fun :thumbs_up

My father's close call with death after suffering a stroke also was an experience...

Becoming a parent was also a new direction...like Rxand fishingal, we also adopted...Louis (now 9) was adopted in Guatemala and Ramsey (now 6) the Marshall Islands...we are truly Blessed...I mean...how could you not love these characters :)

SEOBowhntr
November 7th, 2005, 02:40 AM
Marvin....let me start with saying I am so sorry for your loss. What a difficult time this must be for you.

I don't talk about this very much on AT, but I had a significant life changing event on February 26, 1994. On that day, my son Daniel (named after Dan Hart, who many on AT know) died during his birth. The cause was a "plecenta(sp?) abruption." Esentially, his ability to receive blood from mom stopped, and he died while being born.

At first, I did not know how I could go on. The pain was unbearable. But when I held his lifeless body, an incredible peace came over me. I really don't know quite how to describe it, but suffice it to say that I knew that he was safe, and would be a guardian angel watching over my other children.

I also knew that my life would change forever. I could not be who I was anymore, so I had to make some choices. I could be a bitter person, or a better person....but not really the same person. I chose to dedicate my life to being a better, more caring and loving person....in memory of my Daniel. I believe I am a better father, husband and person for it.

I know this is sappy, and I am sorry. I just thought this might in some way ease the pain you must feel right now.

Chris

Chris,
There is not a sappy thing about that!!! Do not ever let anyone tell you that it is "sappy."



Originally posted by Marvin
buried a 20 year old family member today. not expected. good kid. just on the wrong path. going to be a first time dad myself soon. scared the you know what out of me today. Not sure if I like the person I am today after the burial. Not any bad choices but really looking at life and the "big picture". This is one of those .."oh that only happens to other peoples families" incidents.



Marvin,
I am by no means a wise man, most would say otherwise, but I was lucky enough to know a few in my time. "Not sure if I like the person I am today" This part really stands out to me, and this part "going to be a first time dad myself soon." is something that will change you life forever, but mostly in positive ways, for each bad thing, there are a million good things about fatherhood, trust me!!!

"Not sure I....." This tells me you have some regrets and you've broken some of your own or others principles that you know you shouldn't have. My dad told me when I was about 15 something that I will tell each of my children, and have told many friends during times of duress or self-loathing. He said "Each day you must face the man in the mirror and if you don't respect him, you will have nothing in life." I can say that there are many days I really didn't like the "Man in the Mirror," but most, I did. Remember that respect starts with you, and you must respect AND forgive yourself to clean the slate.

Shakespeare was a smart man, and his best line he ever wrote (IMVHO) was this:
"The choices we make dictate the lives that we lead, to thine ownself be true." - MacBeth

I try to live my life by that rule alone, and sometimes I falter, but I must get up and face myself each and everyday, and learn to re-earn my self-respect again. Clean your slate, make your peace where it needs to be made, even if there are severe consequences, and then start living again.

Best of Luck!!!

fishingal
November 7th, 2005, 09:52 AM
First, Marvin, my sincere condolences...it's never too late to make changes in your life...trust me, I know...I've been there....not proud of some my past, but I've never denied it either... and I've certainly learned from it...remember the good...the rest is history...use it only as needed...praying for ya...

Without a doubt...meeting and marrying my wife....before that, I didn't figure I'd make it past 30....life was fun...but also wild...including drinking and drugs and let's just say trouble was always right around the corner...

....until I met my wife...she never drank, smoked, used drugs, etc and had a strong Christain faith...and lucky for me she was able to read between the lines and could see another side of me and never gave up on me....even when I didn't deserve her...she helped me change to the point I'm at now.....I no longer smoke, rarely drink (maybe a beer once in a while when we go out to dinner at a micro-brewery), drugs are but a distant memory...and my faith in God has been renewed...and I'm still having fun :thumbs_up

My father's close call with death after suffering a stroke also was an experience...

Becoming a parent was also a new direction...like Rxand fishingal, we also adopted...Louis (now 9) was adopted in Guatemala and Ramsey (now 6) the Marshall Islands...we are truly Blessed...I mean...how could you not love these characters :)


Isn't it the most awesome thing in the world!!! I love being a Mom!!!! :teeth:
This is our babies! Well, ok, they aren't babies anymore! But they will forever by MY babies! :p

Donhudd
November 7th, 2005, 10:27 AM
My older sister diagnosied with terminal Lukemia when she was 11 years old. She is now 72.

Accepted Jesus as my Savior and focus of life.

Married my Highschool sweetheart 48+ years ago.

3 great children and 8 grandchildren.

Succesful Surgery to reconstruct "Compression fractured" vertebra 3 years ago.

Survived sepsis two years ago thanks to my wife and family doctor recoginizing near fatal condition and treating correctly prior to transporting to hospital for long term diagnosis and treatment .

Family doctor correctly diagnoising "celiac sprue" early enough that dietary treatment is very successful.

Good friends formed over the years make it all worth while

fishingal
November 7th, 2005, 10:47 AM
ok............my dates are very wrong....guess I was really tired when I posted last night! :confused: :confused:

Rx and I were married in 1990! We have been married 15 1/2 years! :mg: :teeth:

1 and only miscarriage in 1991 :thumbs_do

I do think the rest of the dates are right!

as our daughter so frequently says, "awwwww, pickles"! Can't believe I did that!
Anyway, those are the right dates! I am allowes 1 mistake a year and I guess I just used that up! :p

Rx and our son just left to go pick up the deer they shot last night! :thumbs_up :thumbs_up Boy are they excited!! :wink: :)

imanut2
November 7th, 2005, 05:10 PM
hehehe....I was wondering about those dates...figured my old age just didn't understand that new math the push on kids...either that or you were using that metric system I had to learn as a kid 35 years ago...after all they told us...we need to learn it cause in a couple of years the whole world will be using metric...heere we are, thirty-five years later and I'm still waiting...story of my life ;)

Nice pics.... :thumbs_up

Marvin, I truly hope things are getting better for you and your family...thoughts and prayers for you all...Ray

mathews4life
November 7th, 2005, 10:40 PM
i am very sorry for all your guys' loses...and i am really happy for all your guys' life changes (for the better of course :tongue: ) and i must say that i am truely lucky and blessed not to have any really tradgic life events..at least yet..maybe i can learn something from this thread thanks