captaincaveman
November 14th, 2005, 01:19 PM
Remarkable Obituary:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common
Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure
how
old
he was since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic
red
tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets
the
worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by
simple,
sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and
reliable
parenting strategies? (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned
but
overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a
six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to
get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could
not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have
an
abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals
received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to
realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her
lap,
and
was awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
Trust,
his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason.
He
is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
:cry:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common
Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure
how
old
he was since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic
red
tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets
the
worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by
simple,
sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and
reliable
parenting strategies? (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned
but
overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a
six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to
get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could
not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have
an
abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals
received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to
realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her
lap,
and
was awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
Trust,
his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason.
He
is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
:cry: