PETA learns Secret Handshake

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  1. #1
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    PETA learns Secret Handshake

    Don't know if this is true or not but it is funny.

    Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally January 10, 2010 by randyedye

    Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials. “Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

    The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

    According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons *****d with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

    “They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

    “I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”

    Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

    Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

    “That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

    When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

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  3. #2
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    so, on one hand, it's ok for them to throw things at people, but then they cry if something happens to them, got to love it.
    "A drinking camp with a hunting problem....yup, that's it!"
    "Sir, I may be drunk, but you're crazy, and I'll be hungover or passed out tomorrow!"

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  5. #3
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    this is freakin' hilarious!!

    This is the way PETA should be "welcomed" everytime they show up to an event!!

    BTW, I don't even own a motorcycle, but now I want to get one and go to their rally!! Sounds like my kind of crowd!!

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  7. #4
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    they aught to be glad it wasn't the OL's, the Mongol's or the H.A.'s or any of the other 1%er's that are out there. i still get a kick out of one particular piece in the article:

    Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.
    speed

  8. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by andypanda View Post
    Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”
    Thats funny not matter what age you are. I doubt the leather helped any either.
    Posted via Mobile Device

  9. #6

    Omg

    That is too funny, I guess its back to old ladies in fur.

  10. #7
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    They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”
    "A drinking camp with a hunting problem....yup, that's it!"
    "Sir, I may be drunk, but you're crazy, and I'll be hungover or passed out tomorrow!"

  11. #8
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    Love it!

  12. #9
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    Talking

    This is the best post in weeks.

  13. #10
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    AHHHH....yes I'm soooo very proud to live in PA.
    BowTech General 2012

  14. #11

    Thumbs up

    It may be early in the year, but that has to be in the running for post of the year.

  15. #12
    Too funny . . .

  16. #13
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    this is te funiest thing Ive heard. gotta love we all should welcoe them with opn arms like the bikers did. Show the love.

  17. #14
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    Awesome! Would be more believable if written in March at the Cabbage Patch in Samsula,FL during BikeWeek!

  18. #15
    wow,they should have made them eat blood sausage

  19. #16
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    Funniest thing I've read on here yet. Thanks.
    Chris

  20. #17
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    Lol! :d

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  21. #18
    That's great! Gotta love it!
    USUALLY THE HUNTERS THAT WERE NEVER ANY GOOD AT HUNTING WILL SHOOT A SPIKE.they just dont know any better and never will amount to anything .......sproulman
    I think meat hunters is another name for "Bad Hunter" or "Low Patience Hunter"....grfox
    Meat hunter=Don't have time/and or patience to hold out for mature buck.....173BC

  22. #19
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    Great story and funny as **ll and not to burst anybody's bubble but the story isn't true. It was originally posted on Glossynews.com which is a satirical news website. One of their other stories is "Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to the Sioux"

  23. #20
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    FUNNY! Now maybe those losers know that there's a fine line between BALLS and Stupidity. Screwing with bikers at a motorcycle rally, yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I hope that's all true.
    07 Hoyt Vectrix XT
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  24. #21
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  25. #22
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    Now thats funny

  26. #23
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    PETA sucks.

  27. #24

    Peta

    Read this earlier today on another site...Story was checked out...It was labeled as a satire to begin with...Completely fake....but cute anyway...

  28. #25
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    one of the funniest post i've read in a long time. as a leather jacket owning harley rider i sat here and laughed my a** off
    God Bless America ....again please

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