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Thread: Got any Jokes?

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Central Ohio
    Posts
    6,418

    Got any Jokes?

    Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a faceoff in the corner.
    Did you hear about the leper playing cards? He threw in his hand.
    Did you hear about the leper who got in a car wreck? He left his foot on the gas.
    What did the leper say to the prostitute? "Keep the tip".



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    In a corner of my round room
    Posts
    3,002
    Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.
    He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.

    As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
    Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants , and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.

    He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids, and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

    In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt, and Mary staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?" Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

    Well," Mary said, "It could be the open front door. It could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs. It could be the drops of blood trailing through the house. It could be your bloodshot eyes.
    But mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
    Last edited by tinker27; February 27th, 2007 at 10:19 PM. Reason: spacing

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Just south of Pittsburgh
    Posts
    275
    Did you hear about the leper basebal game??? someone dropped a ball in left field!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    In a corner of my round room
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    3,002
    Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

    Well for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

    We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.
    He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a s---head.
    He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.,

    Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
    The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

    Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.

    We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    oklahoma
    Posts
    1,089

    hope this is clean enogh

    hope this is clean enough
    Attached Files Attached Files

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    In a corner of my round room
    Posts
    3,002
    :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

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