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Discussion Starter #1
I was reading the post about wives and how they help or hender our hunting. Well I am facing a situation regarding that right now and would like a little advice...Heres the situation.
I have been traveling to Ohio for the past 2 years with the same bunch of guys to bowhunt. The first year we went my hunting partner killed a 170+ P&Y buck! Last year we didnt score but we both saw some nice bucks and I saw one on the last evening that was pushing 150. I look forward to this hunt more than you could imagine. Being from SC this is really the only chance I have for killing a P&Y buck. Even if I dont, just being able to see those quality bucks is worth the trip and the licence. Well, this year my wife and I had our first child back in Feb. Due to having to take time off for that I didnt think I was going to be able to make the Ohio trip this year. My wife had already said she didnt care if I went if I could find a way to go. Anyway I had already told my buddies that I wasnt going to make it and I thought that was that. Well yesterday I was talking to a guy at work about it and he informs me that I could still take unpaid vacation days anytime I wanted. I approched my boss about it and she said it would be absolutely fine for me to take 3 unpaid vacation days along with the 3 vacation days I have left. As you can imagine I was pumped! So I go home and tell my wife about it, with the inticipation of calling my buds and telling them the great news. Well to put it mildly I never got to call my buds. My wife totally freaked out on me. She said she "didnt remember" ever telling me that she didnt care if I went. She ask when I would be gone and I stated the last week of Oct. Shes like, "thats great, miss her first Halloween" I really dont know what to do at this point. I feel like I am a good husband and I provide very well for my family. My wife had a good job bringing in a good salary and I agreed to let her stay at home with our daughter so she wouldnt have to be put in daycare. I do alot around the house and I let her do pretty much as she pleases. I love my daughter very much but I dont think not being there for Halloween is that big of deal. If it were Christmas I could understand. I feel like I deserve to have some time for myself and do what I love to do, which is bowhunt whitetails.
So my question is guys, What would you do in my situation? I know I have to make my own decisions but I would like some input from others who can relate. Am I being selfish or is she being a little unreasonable??

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to lay out all the details....
 

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Nothing but tracks.....

First Halloween.... oh my she is grasping at straws with that one. Go man, I did the same thing with my with, let her stay home with the kids. I go hunting and any other thing I want to do, when I want to do it. Dont get me wrong I love my wife and 2 girls. When it comes to hunting, the wife takes the backseat.
 

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I'm in the same boat. Me and my wife had a little girl on 3/14/06 and I also probably won't be making my out of state trip. I'm also from SC and for the last4 years I have been hunting a honeyhole up in PA. Last year I saw 2 130 class and 1- 140 class in 2 days of hunting. I ended up coming home with a 22in inside spread 7pt. Yes, I understand the attraction to leave the state that should be nicknamed "home of the scrub buck". Anyway, My wife did allow me to go when we only had 1 child (I heard about it for months), but know that the 2nd little one was here I probably will not go. You best bet to keep everyone happy would be to plan a 3-4 day trip that will get you home for your little girls first halloween and you won't have to take your days unpaid. Also just know that a woman's brain works differently than ours and if she get the chance to go out and buy a special outfit and dress her up it will be a VERY big deal to her. Trust me, my little girl has already got a ballerina outfit in her closest waiting on halloween to get here. Good Luck!!
 

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Just remember, you still have to come back home to your wife. That hunt is only a few days. Your wife is the rest of your life.

Just something to think about. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #5
drum3rguy said:
Just remember, you still have to come back home to your wife. That hunt is only a few days. Your wife is the rest of your life.

Just something to think about. :)
That is true and I would totally agree with that if it werent for the fact she already said it was fine if I go. I have to make a decision soon so I can ask for the days off!
 

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Even though I don't have kids, I've been in the same boat... I think it's part of being a married guy.:rolleyes:

I've noticed that women don't like "spontaneous trips" that don't involve THEM. However.... plan a last second trip to FL or a tropical island and you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Plan a last minute out of town hunting trip or golf trip and LOOK OUT!

I've been getting flak over my upcoming elk trip for the last 7-8 months.... nothing ever changes... like others have said, it's the way they are wired. Oh.... and your wife DID say that she didn't care if you went.... BUT, she said that when there was no chance of you actually going.:rolleyes: Convienent how that works.... convienent how they forget what they want to, but they'll remember some crap you said on your 2nd date with them 13 years ago.:rolleyes: :wink:

Oh as for the 1s Halloween thing... I mean come on. The baby is less than a year old.... it's totally clueless about everything. Nobody takes a kid that young trick-or-treating, so what's the big deal?:rolleyes: :rolleyes: Sounds like something my wife would say to me.....

-ZA
 

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From Keep's Wife -

This is Keep's wife -

He read your post to me and asked me what I thought. Both of us are bowhunters and 2 weeks ago I had our son. Although Keep is going, I'm missing Elk season this year and wondering how I'll manage Deer season. As a wife and a new Mom I have to say it's great if you help out as much as you do. Too many Dad's are not involved both with the kid and the wife. Fortunately I'm blessed with one of the good ones.

As a woman of course I'd love to give you my opinion. :) Take what you want and toss the rest. Obviously I don't know ya'll and there are two sides to every story but my first thought is there are other issues here. Not just you going hunting. Please don't forget that her hormones can be screwed up for the next year - every woman and every pregnancy is different. But even with all that you do maybe she's missing something. Maybe she needs a "deer hunt" too (equal money and time away from everyone - a minivacation) or a special weekend with you where she feels like a girlfriend again - not just the changer of dirty diapers - don't forget the romance. (I know guys hate that word!) Or does she hunt? Would she like to learn? Maybe plan a trip with her. It's great for you to spend time with the guys but family activities are important too. It's never too early for the kiddo to learn. :) Most of all I would suggest that you ask her why she feels the way that she does, LISTEN to what she says and try to understand where she is comming from. If she feels like you are really trying to understand her it will make a big difference in the way she responds to you.

Good luck. I know it can be frustrating but hang in there. Hopefully it will all be worth it when the kids are grown and out of the house. :)
 

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Just make sure during the year you do the same for her. Keep the kids let her go on outings with her friends. When deer season comes around it is her turn to return the favor. If she won't consider that, she is being unreasonable. It gets easier when the kids get older. I just load them up and take them with me.
 

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why don't you stay home for halloween and let me take your spot on the ohio hunt? that way we both win!

Tough decision
Insatiable
 

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first off congrats on the little girl.....we just had a boy last oct.....i know where your coming from my wife always gives me hell for hunting,but always waits til im done to ***** about....its like she loading her argue gun for the rest of the year, i just tell her she knew that i did this before we where married.just to drive the point home,and so she could say "well you didnt go all the time" i was in a stand the morning of our wedding!

like i said we had ours in oct and my wife is still HORMENTAL as hell!my advise to you is to "keep peace in the east" and ride this out...i would rather sandpaper a wildcats ass than to piss off a hormental moma!

maxx
 

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Halloween is for the parents the first two years, the little one just sits in the stroller smiling or sleeping while Mom is showing her off. That being said I did dress my little girl up in a duck hunting outfit complete with a bamboo blind around her stroller, a homemade mobile of ducks flying above her head and a toy shotgun in her arms, but I didn't go trick or treating with them because I was at work. If there was any season open back then I would have gone hunting instead of going to work. The only thing I can see you fading heat about is the 3 unpaid days, if you can afford it go hunting.
 

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I think us SC boys just need to grow bigger deer down here!!!!!!! Seriously, there has to be some sort of compromise you and your wife can come to so that this doesn't get blown out of proportion. Remember.....you only have one daughter. Don't miss the special times. You'll never get them back. Deer will always be in Ohio.:wink:
 

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TALK IT OVER WITH HER. TELL HER HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO YOU THAT YOU HAVE THIS TIME TO YOURSELF, THEN OFFER HER THE SAME THING. I'VE FOUND THAT THROUGH THE YEARS IF SHE GETS HER LITTLE BREAKS AND TIME AWAY FROM THE TRIPLETS (ME AND MY TWO KIDS:wink: ) SHE'S MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE TO YOU HAVING YOUR TIME. HANG IN THERE THOUGH, IT GETS MUCH EASIER WHEN THEY'RE OLDER. HECK, SHE EVEN CAME WITH ME AND MY SON LAST YEAR. DIDN'T HUNT, BUT CAME OUT TO OUR BIG STAND A COUPLE TIMES. AND NOTHINGS BETTER THAN COMING BACK TO CAMP TO A HOME COOKED MEAL READY AND WAITING:tongue:
 

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Discussion Starter #14
keep said:
This is Keep's wife -

He read your post to me and asked me what I thought. Both of us are bowhunters and 2 weeks ago I had our son. Although Keep is going, I'm missing Elk season this year and wondering how I'll manage Deer season. As a wife and a new Mom I have to say it's great if you help out as much as you do. Too many Dad's are not involved both with the kid and the wife. Fortunately I'm blessed with one of the good ones.

As a woman of course I'd love to give you my opinion. :) Take what you want and toss the rest. Obviously I don't know ya'll and there are two sides to every story but my first thought is there are other issues here. Not just you going hunting. Please don't forget that her hormones can be screwed up for the next year - every woman and every pregnancy is different. But even with all that you do maybe she's missing something. Maybe she needs a "deer hunt" too (equal money and time away from everyone - a minivacation) or a special weekend with you where she feels like a girlfriend again - not just the changer of dirty diapers - don't forget the romance. (I know guys hate that word!) Or does she hunt? Would she like to learn? Maybe plan a trip with her. It's great for you to spend time with the guys but family activities are important too. It's never too early for the kiddo to learn. :) Most of all I would suggest that you ask her why she feels the way that she does, LISTEN to what she says and try to understand where she is comming from. If she feels like you are really trying to understand her it will make a big difference in the way she responds to you.

Good luck. I know it can be frustrating but hang in there. Hopefully it will all be worth it when the kids are grown and out of the house. :)

That is some very good advice and I appreciate it coming from a wife. The thing is I already do most if not all of those things. Our child was born in late Feb. and in mid May we took a trip to the beach with her family. I thought that was too far to travel with a young child but I did it because I knew she wanted to go an be with her family. She is also going to a Women of Faith conference later on this year and I will have the baby. This is something she did last year and enjoyed it. I have no problem with her going at all.

I think ZA hit the nail on the head. It was Ok for me to go when she thought that I had no chance. As soon as she found out I could she suddenly had a cause of memory loss.

As far as the 3 unpaid vacation days, I have been blessed with a good job and I make a decent living. The money is not really an issue. Its the fact that I will be away for a week. I dont really get into Halloween anyway, never have, even as a kid. It is more for her to dress our daughter up and take her to my parents and her parents house and take a bunch of pictures.
 

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Quality Time!!!

SC

Take it for what it's worth but my advice would be for you to talk to your wife and let her know your family will always come first and how much you love your wife & daughter... Then I would remind her that you have been looking forward to this all year and how much it means to you.

We seem to forget as men that hormones go up and down... :decision: use them to your advantage... Try a little tenderness and affection, if she loves you, she will want to see you happy, but she has to be happy too (as a matter of fact she has to be happy first). :kiss:

In short move the enviroment to the positve side of the scale and you will be suprised how easy it is for everyone will get what they want. I'm not saying it's easy but it is possible. :hug:
 

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SC - your getting some good advise here. Just keep one thing in mind, You keeping your daughter while she is at her convention (my wife is going too) will only be a 1-2 day adventure. Handling an infant for a week solid with no relief is tough. I really don't think she minds you hunting, she just does not want to be on the hook for an entire week as well as she does not want you missing any holidays in the childs first year. I will almost gaurentee you if you talk to her she will let you go for 3-4 days as long as your back by halloween. Trust me I was there two years ago, as well as this year. P.S. Me nor my wife ever enjoyed halloween either....until the kids got here.

BCASE4- Hey I'm actually from Rock Hill. I agree we just need bigger bucks down here. Lets find a few thousand acres and start our own trophy club. What do you say?
 

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a happy wife is a happy man, an un-happy wife is a un-happy man with 1/2 his stuff...

Don't know where I heard that but its funny!

I have had the same issues come up with my wife and I have to say I stay home and next time make a plan and stick with it...changing a plan is a bad bad bad bad bad thing.

I've got another baby coming in Jan or Feb and I asked about a 3-D league and she thought it was a good idea...we'll see what she thinks when there is the baby and the 3 yr old...

Stay home and next time stick with the plan...

-NerdHick
 

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You have a life time to hunt, but your kids are only young once. It's a small sacrifice your going to have to make for a couple of years, but it will be worth it having peace in your household.
 

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SCBOWMAN,

So your daughter will be 8 months old at Halloween? I don't think you'll be missing much if you aren't there. I can understand not missing her birthdays, her preschool plays, kindergarten graduation, etc. BUT Halloween when she is only 8 months old?! I would just talk to my wife and tell her that this is something I look forward to all year long, I have done it for the past two years and I am planning on doing it again this year. I would also tell her that next year Halloween will be much more fun since your daughter will be able to actively participate and I would under no circumstances miss next Halloween.

3L
 

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NerdHick said:
a happy wife is a happy man, an un-happy wife is a un-happy man with 1/2 his stuff...

Don't know where I heard that but its funny!

I have had the same issues come up with my wife and I have to say I stay home and next time make a plan and stick with it...changing a plan is a bad bad bad bad bad thing.

I've got another baby coming in Jan or Feb and I asked about a 3-D league and she thought it was a good idea...we'll see what she thinks when there is the baby and the 3 yr old...

Stay home and next time stick with the plan...

-NerdHick
WRONG!

When a man marries a woman it is like this: What's HIS is HERS and what's HERS is HERS!:cry:

3L
 
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